MyLucida is the place where I just be myself. It's not just few words coming from mouth, but emerging from the core of my heart. It's been long that I had stopped scribbling and playing with words, my painting, studying the cinematography etc... Somewhere down the line, I had lost my life... Now I am trying to reinstall myself. The booting time is bit high; as it is actually a reboot process :-)
I thought so many times of writing few words every day!!!
But my random laziness (or something more critical/ and or simple) stops me... Is it a starting problem or pick up problem!!!??? I really don't know... but these days, I have lost interest in so many things I used to love a lot at one time!!!
Finally I justify (console?) myself: if I write everyday there will not be much taker... and you know, moreover, the good things should not repeat so often!!! That's why comets are so important!!! You have to keep the mystery live buddy.... Come on, it hardly matters if you are not so intelligent, but you must behave so :-P
And I again end up in developing a habit of not writing (doing) anything!!!
Few months back I have seen one Bengali movie, a national award winner, 'Ontoheen' which means 'endless'...
My linguist friends may propose some better translation of the word 'Ontoheen'!!!
Whatever, is it really endless? I mean our lives, thought process... our journey of life and blah blah...
Sometimes I feel they are really 'Ontoheen' !!! But then another part of mind says it's not like that... everything ends up. Be it a relation or journey down a lane, actually it ends... One of my friend says, 'every relation comes with a price tag & expiry date'!!!
Probably s(h)e is right... even relation ends!!!
But they leave us with a memory; and memory lasts.... Sometimes I feel this is the only thing which is endless.
Today morning on the way to my office while traveling in a shared auto, where I had very little space, I was listening to some of my favorite tunes, suddenly a very old memory popped up!!! actually these days, I have very little practice to travel through narrow lanes, on scanty seats... The auto was traveling through the alleys of old city, dirty lanes & by-lanes, the physical proximity of my next co-passenger.. I was not very comfortable altogether!!!
Suddenly few old stories started to bug me up... actually it was not bugging up, I was feeling good!!! Some memories which are really insignificant today, made me happy!!! I traveled back 10-15 years back...
During my school days, 8 'fuchkas' (bengali version of golgappa or pani puri) were available for just Re 1/-
and if one had Rs 2 one day, he used to be the chief guest in the group :-P
Rs 2 means 16 fuchkas... and it was supposed to be distributed among 10 friends... hardly the promoter of the party used to get 3 only and some poor fellow might have ended up with only 1 piece!!!
but even then at the end of the party it was just 10 very bright & contented faces....
Now?
I feel space problem, even in a 2BHK flat of 850 sq ft, staying alone....
I feel it scanty when I travel in an Indica or Maruti Esteem....
I don't feel comfortable to share even an old T-shirt with some one....
Thank God! Memories don't feel such problems... don't they?
It was a sweet memory, sweet but painful... I was not actually missing my old pals, but yes, I was missing those days !!!
Sometimes it's endless, sometimes it's not!!! But even if it ends, it leaves the signature... the signature in our memories...
One fine morning the yellow, the yellow page is turned on... and they come back like a sepia flash back :-)
Yet another morning... I woke up and was going through the daily news paper. One article took away all my concentration... almost half the day is over and still the article, rather the question is bugging me up!!!
Actually it is a very big issue which keeps my mind on a roll now for almost 20 years.... It is about the education system of India.
The report says, Mr. Barack Obama, the President of US, has warned Americans about the dangerous challenges they are facing and will be in near future from the Indian and Chinese students. In his 1st State of the union Address, Mr. Obama has literally shown his concern about the fact that the education system, especially the science and maths, in USA are lacking the excellence. At the same time, according to him, education system in India, China and in Germany is better and getting improved day to day.
I'm not concerned about China, for the timing just want to focus on India and it's education system....
Indians are intelligent - no prize to guess/ predict/ understand this... not even a small lozenge :-P
But few points:
1. As an Indian student I'm not happy with our system... after completing 2 masters in science & technology, 1 masters in management and a Ph.D. in process, I can bet there are thousands of crores of loop holes in our education system... from primary to higher education and research - where is the excellence?
Every year we are producing lakhs of graduates and thousands of research scholars bagging their respective degrees... take an honest feed back and see the result. Are they happy?
2. Some would say, Indians are getting jobs; the packages are pretty high now with the entry of global business houses...
But tell me my friend, what kind of jobs? Most of the jobs are BPO/ Call Center and service industry related jobs... where are the research and development related jobs????
3. How many Indian companies invest a considerable of their profit into R&D? Be it IT, biotech, pharmaceuticals, chemical technology or heavy engineering? How many of the MNCs have their R&D set up in India?
4. If the Indian Education system is so strong, why don't we get enough number of patents or high quality research papers in peered journals?
Most of the Indian Universities and top notch research institutes are playing with data. How many publication do Indian science community send to the journals like Science or Nature?
Recently I have watched '3 Idiots'... you people must have watch it. It is a tight slap on the face of our education system... Mr. Rajkumar Hirani has rightly pointed out dumb system. There is a common practice in our country. The best student in the school would go for science. And later on he/ she would pursue engineering or medical. If not, they would do B.Sc. and M.Sc. and later on Ph.D. Finally they will land up with a job in academics. No for that Universities and Govt. funded research labs (run by CSIR) are the first choices. If not? I can think of the local college....
If you can manage a seat in engineering, IITs are the first choice; if not NITs and so and so forth...
If you get a seat in MBBS, oh God!!! Thanks a lot my dear Bhagwannnn....
MBBS, MS, FRCS....
Then?
A clinic.... I am a corporate doc then !!!!
Hippocratic oath? what's that!!!!! :-P
If you are able, you will run behind the best; it's easily understandable. That's why the first choice is IIT, IISc or AIMS or TIFR... not a tom-dick-harry institute.
But what is the yardstick to pick up the best?
Marks... percentile....
How the marks would come?
Easy solution: there are set of questions and standard answers... ready made. Go to any book shop. You will easily find out 100s of them...
Pick them up..... Mug up and Vomit at your exam papers !!!!!
This is what our education system is all about and Mr. Obama is afraid of it?????????
Or there is something else?????
I really don't understand. If you are good student at your college and university and have really achieved something, you will have good scholarship from an American Varsity, for your MS, PhD or Post-Doctoral Studies.
It is crystal clear that India can't provide the infrastructure to hold it's best talent within the periphery. The best 10% students will some how reach MIT or Standford. And the sad but true part is that we can't get them back, even if they want to come back. Every time such issues raised, Govt promised so many; and you know what is actually produced!!!
But how long this stupid system will continue?
How long we will remain the service destination for them??????????????????
As a part of academia, even I am bugged up with the question. I know many of you think like me. But unfortunately till date, we don't have a solid answer.
I know these questions hake your mind too. Even when an IIT-IIM ends up in selling shampoo or soap, he is not satisfied. No one can be.... But the pain continues!!!!
Lust, lust and Lust which will burn my desires till the last the burning desires
pain and pain
one day you will break your silence, on the landscape of the pain you will spread like the rain
the rain I loved like a little child, the rain I hated like a daily labor the rain I felt like a crying beauty the rain I desired like a wounded young love...
my rain probably I was waiting for you when you were the cloud...!!!
come along, reach me, love me, hold me tight breaking the silence of the mountain !!!
I might fall short of my emotions, I would pain you like the scorching sun... and then I would start loving you, with my lust till the last.... :-)
Finally... Finally I have resumed my blogging habit. It took a hell lot of time... To be honest, I am still confused what is the driving force behind???
It might be few 'wh'-questions we never can answer satisfactorily... Satisfaction is another relative entity I guess. But after living the first 30 years of my life for others, the same question started to haunt me again. Who am I??? See.. yet another 'wh'-question !!!
Sometimes I wonder, when did I come to this earth!!!
Obviously my birth certificate has an answer, but is it the right time, I came? Is it not something like another life took the entry???
But how do I know, when 'I' came?
I am talking about the 'me' I know or else trying to know???
When I look back, I find lot of changes happened over the period of time... The school going boy was different from the man today!!! Everyday I change... slowly and give birth to another 'me'... Is it not the same with every one??? In that case, once again, the same questions are just mounting the thoughts.... Isn't it?
Who am I? When did I came?
Some more important investigations....
What am I doing? What did I want to do? Where is the destination? and where am I heading towards????
What are the thoughts that should come to my mind and what are the thoughts that coming in reality?????
Why I am here??????
"I don't know all the answers, what is store in future - even that is not sure!!! But can try to locate few such tiny questions... Then??? We will find the answers out...
Together :-)"
Now a days I really feel that life is the sum total of few 'wh'-questions; some answered, few unanswered....
But the questions are actually the fuel... probably the driving force!!!! The journey is on... no matter what I have :-)
