Does it end?

Few months back I have seen one Bengali movie, a national award winner, 'Ontoheen' which means 'endless'...
My linguist friends may propose some better translation of the word 'Ontoheen'!!!

Whatever, is it really endless? I mean our lives, thought process... our journey of life and blah blah...

Sometimes I feel they are really 'Ontoheen' !!! But then another part of mind says it's not like that... everything ends up. Be it a relation or journey down a lane, actually it ends... One of my friend says, 'every relation comes with a price tag & expiry date'!!!

Probably s(h)e is right... even relation ends!!!

But they leave us with a memory; and memory lasts.... Sometimes I feel this is the only thing which is endless.

Today morning on the way to my office while traveling in a shared auto, where I had very little space, I was listening to some of my favorite tunes, suddenly a very old memory popped up!!! actually these days, I have very little practice to travel through narrow lanes, on scanty seats... The auto was traveling through the alleys of old city, dirty lanes & by-lanes, the physical proximity of my next co-passenger.. I was not very comfortable altogether!!!

Suddenly few old stories started to bug me up... actually it was not bugging up, I was feeling good!!! Some memories which are really insignificant today, made me happy!!! I traveled back 10-15 years back...

During my school days, 8 'fuchkas' (bengali version of golgappa or pani puri) were available for just Re 1/-
and if one had Rs 2 one day, he used to be the chief guest in the group :-P

Rs 2 means 16 fuchkas... and it was supposed to be distributed among 10 friends... hardly the promoter of the party used to get 3 only and some poor fellow might have ended up with only 1 piece!!!

but even then at the end of the party it was just 10 very bright & contented faces....

Now?

I feel space problem, even in a 2BHK flat of 850 sq ft, staying alone....

I feel it scanty when I travel in an Indica or Maruti Esteem....
I don't feel comfortable to share even an old T-shirt with some one....

Thank God! Memories don't feel such problems... don't they?

It was a sweet memory, sweet but painful... I was not actually missing my old pals, but yes, I was missing those days !!!

Sometimes it's endless, sometimes it's not!!! But even if it ends, it leaves the signature... the signature in our memories...

One fine morning the yellow, the yellow page is turned on... and they come back like a sepia flash back :-)

Few 'wh' questions...

Finally... Finally I have resumed my blogging habit. It took a hell lot of time...
To be honest, I am still confused what is the driving force behind???

It might be few 'wh'-questions we never can answer satisfactorily... Satisfaction is another relative entity I guess. But after living the first 30 years of my life for others, the same question started to haunt me again. Who am I??? See.. yet another 'wh'-question !!!

Sometimes I wonder, when did I come to this earth!!!

Obviously my birth certificate has an answer, but is it the right time, I came? Is it not something like another life took the entry???

But how do I know, when 'I' came?

I am talking about the 'me' I know or else trying to know???

When I look back, I find lot of changes happened over the period of time... The school going boy was different from the man today!!! Everyday I change... slowly and give birth to another 'me'... Is it not the same with every one??? In that case, once again, the same questions are just mounting the thoughts.... Isn't it?

Who am I?
When did I came?

Some more important investigations....

What am I doing?
What did I want to do?
Where is the destination?
and where am I heading towards????

What are the thoughts that should come to my mind and what are the thoughts that coming in reality?????

Why I am here??????

"I don't know all the answers,
what is store in future - even that is not sure!!!
But can try to locate few such tiny questions...
Then???
We will find the answers out...

Together :-)"


Now a days I really feel that life is the sum total of few 'wh'-questions; some answered, few unanswered....

But the questions are actually the fuel... probably the driving force!!!!
The journey is on... no matter what I have :-)